As Turkey Day passes and autumn turns to winter, we start to welcome all of our holiday babies into the world. 🙂 We have a lot of Tree Town Babies on the way this holiday season! Some of these cuties we’ve already met, and some we still have yet to meet.
In light of these beautiful babies coming one after the other (starting with a few this past weekend), our doulas were joking around that Birth Doulas have 3 modes: conserve mode, mom mode, and “I’ve just been shot out of a rocket” mode.And it’s true!
You’ll find us in “conserve mode” the weeks leading up to your due date. ✨Any time we’re not checking in with you, you’ll find us sleeping, relaxing at home, practicing self-care to the max, taking long bubble baths, and going to bed early just in case we get that call in the middle of the night. Like trees hibernating during winter, we’re dormant but ready and waiting with anticipation.
You’ll find us in “mom mode” when we pull back your hair for you during labor. 🤱🏻 We’ll combat your doubts with a nurturing kindness, hold you when you have tears in your eyes, remind you of your own strength when you feel like giving up, and hold space with you during the toughest moments of your baby’s birth. You might be too exhausted to believe in yourself, so we’ll do it for you.
You can find us in “I’ve just been shot out of a rocket mode” whenever there’s an adrenaline rush. 🚀 The second we see the words “I think I’m having contractions” in our text messages is a big one. It’s the the rush we feel when the labor and delivery team hurry in with their trays and umbilical clamps, or when we can see your baby’s head and we’re telling you to give just one more push so that you can meet them. The level of exhilaration is unreal and it feels like being propelled into the stratosphere.
Then there are the moments for the story books; the flashbulb memories that we don’t forget. 💡 The sound of your baby crying when they enter the world, the first time you look into your baby’s eyes, and the first time it clicks for you that you just birthed a whole human from your own sheer willpower and strength.
All of these moments combined are why we love what we do. We are so honored and unbelievably humbled by each person who invites us to be a part of these life-changing moments.
Thank you to all of you beautiful Tree Town Families. You never cease to amaze us.❤️🌳
The most special Thank You to Thressa and Zac for this beautiful photo ❤️
Welcome to our first official Community Spotlight! 🙂 This is going to be a new segment of our blog where we shine the spotlight on some of our community members that are doing awesome work for prenatal/postpartum care! This will be a weekly occurrence, so get ready to meet some pretty awesome people.
For our first Community Spotlight, it’s only natural that we shine the light on one of our very own doulas, Toni Auker!
To learn more about Toni’s work, passions, winning personality, and the births of her little ones while she busts some common myths about childbirth/ parenting, keep on reading!
What brought you to support moms and babies?
I have always wanted to work with women and children, but wasn’t sure in exactly what capacity. When I was an undergrad I was certain that it would be through therapy. I double majored in psychology and women’s studies and hoped to work with families in crisis. Before graduation I realized that I didn’t actually want to do therapy, but I still began looking for jobs working with families. The job market at the time wasn’t easy and I found that I made more money as a server than I would at most of the jobs that would use my degree. I put off the career search for a long time as I concentrated on building my own family.
As soon as my first son was born I knew what I wanted to do. Although I didn’t have a doula for my birth, I felt extremely supported by my mother. She had 3 natural hospital births, and her confidence in my ability to birth was instrumental in my own confidence. My husband was by my side, but he was nervous and needed his own support. My OB of 10 years happened to be the one that caught my baby, but I felt like I had only seen him for a few minutes throughout the entire labor and birth. The nurses were great, but it felt so strange to me that I had never met them and would never see them again. Birth seemed so personal, and I felt like everyone deserved the continuous support of someone that knew and trusted birth. I knew a little bit about what birth doulas did, and I started to do more research. It wasn’t long before I decided that this was the career I had been looking for. I found a DONA (Doulas of North America) training in Ann Arbor and I took my four month old son with me to the classes. After attending my first birth, I knew that I had finally found my place in the world. Eight years later I have added Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator to my resume and I couldn’t be more excited about where my career is headed. I get to work with the most amazing families at such an exciting time in their lives. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
If there was one myth you could “bust”, what would it be?
There are so many birth myths that I would like to bust, but I think the biggest is that your provider is in charge of your birth. People might not say it directly, but it is in the way that we talk about birth. “My doctor won’t allow…”, “My doctor is making me…” and even “My doctor delivered my baby” are all phrases that I would love to do away with. You are in control of your birth. You birth your baby. Your doctor or midwife simply makes recommendations that you are welcome to accept or refuse. Some of their suggestions will be based on solid research and experience, but others come from habit or fear of litigation. Most of their recommendations come from generic hospital policy with no regard to your personal health or history. I have also found that many providers aren’t even attached to these recommendations, and they are more than willing to support people that ask for alternatives. I am so privileged to work with many brilliant providers and I absolutely respect everything that they do, but I also have amazing respect for the wonderfully intuitive families that take charge of their own births and make the decisions that work best for them.
What do you enjoy doing when not working?
I am currently six months pregnant and planning to move, so I am not working much these days. My days seem to be filled with packing and keeping 2 active boys happy. The things I enjoy the most are getting out in nature. I love to hike and camp. Hikes are quite a bit shorter right now, but even just sitting in nature makes me happy. This year we have visited the Hocking Hills and Ocqueoc Falls. We are heading up for a camping trip this weekend, and I hope to plan at least one more adventure before this baby arrives.
What moment are you most proud of?
I have two moments that I am extremely proud of, one personal and one professional. My proudest professional moment was passing the Lamaze exam. I had already been teaching for someone else, and using their curriculum, for three years. Striking out on my own and passing the Lamaze exam was huge for me. It was like validation that I was on the right path. It makes me a more confident instructor, and I feel like it gives me a bit of credibility in the eyes of the many providers that now send their clients to me.
My proudest moment personally was the birth of my second son. My first birth was amazing and enlightening. I had tried to conceive him for 5 years with the help of 2 fertility doctors. Looking back there was so much I didn’t know, and so many things that I would have changed. Overall though, it was a good birth. With the second I hired homebirth midwives. I rented an inflatable tub for my dining room and asked a doula to be there. From the minute that I hired my midwives, things felt so much different. I felt supported and empowered in a way that I didn’t know was possible with my first birth. Although not everything went as planned (my son was not born in the water as I had envisioned), I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I was in control. I kicked people out of my room when I needed privacy, I pushed when my body told me, and I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. My oldest got to meet his baby brother before we even cut the cord, and I feel like that solidified their bond immediately. I know that homebirth isn’t for everyone, but it was absolutely the right decision for me.
Tell us about something in your practice you would like everyone to know.
I would like everyone to know that Lamaze supports every kind of birth and all choices. I teach directly from research and try to lay out all of your options. I will never tell a client that they need to do something or that they need to refuse something. I give them the evidence on both sides, and often help them find the compromises in the middle. Birth is unpredictable and the best thing that I can give you is the tools to communicatewith your providers and make decisions in the moment. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I only gave you the tools for an unmedicated birth. This is something that everyone with Tree Town Doulas has in common. We are here to support you no matter what your circumstances and choices are. Whether you plan to give birth at home or in a hospital, with or without medication, vaginally or caesarean, we are here to support you.